PAUL F. TOMPKINS IS ONLINE
ALL OF THE USA EAST OF LOS ANGLES: While you watched me (right?), I watched David Rees. (Taken with Instagram at Largo at the Coronet)

ALL OF THE USA EAST OF LOS ANGLES: While you watched me (right?), I watched David Rees. (Taken with Instagram at Largo at the Coronet)

So, I opened up Tumblr to send out a reminder about this show that I’m doing at Largo on Saturday, and I see I have already been beaten to the punch by the man himself, David Rees.

Just so you know: I am really looking forward to this show. Not just performing on it, just seeing it. David Rees is one of the funniest people I have ever met, and I believe you have some notion of the circles in which I travel.

THIS EVENING HAS MY PERSONAL COMEDY GUARANTEE!

Tickets: HERE.

howtosharpenpencils:

“An absolute comedy nut? Don’t mind if I take a salty handful! Mmm, now I’m thirsty.”

AN ABSOLUTE COMEDY NUT.

So have I been described by the good folks at LAist.com. They, like me, encourage you to attend my PENCIL-SHARPENING SPECTACULAR at Largo on Saturday!

(In this photo we see…

LOS ANGELES. I am doing a show with this gentleman at Largo this month.  It will, no doubt, be banoodles.
Saturday, April 21st. Also featuring Andy Daly.

howtosharpenpencils:

HOW TO SHARPEN PENCILS includes a chapter on CELEBRITY IMPRESSION PENCIL SHARPENING.
In this photograph, we see a man impersonating a jar of mustard sharpening a pencil.
(Photo by Meredith Heuer)

LOS ANGELES. I am doing a show with this gentleman at Largo this month.  It will, no doubt, be banoodles.

Saturday, April 21st. Also featuring Andy Daly.

howtosharpenpencils:

HOW TO SHARPEN PENCILS includes a chapter on CELEBRITY IMPRESSION PENCIL SHARPENING.

In this photograph, we see a man impersonating a jar of mustard sharpening a pencil.

(Photo by Meredith Heuer)

Los Angeles. Your pencils. Let’s talk.

Saturday, April 21st, Largo at The Coronet!

David Rees, the imaginartist responsible for Get Your War On and My New Fighting Technique Is Unstoppable, wants to SHARPEN. YOUR. PENCIIIIIIIIIIIIILS!

David will be putting on a show to celebrate the release of his new book, which is called How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants. You can pre-order the book on Amazon if you think you’re man enough.The book is not only hilarious, it also really tells you a lot about sharpening pencils. You can buy the book from him in person after the show. And after you get your own pencil sharpened!

For real. I was gifted one of these pencils he sharpened. Look:

Also appearing on the show? Me. That’s right! Paul F. Tompkins!

Also also appearing on this show? Genius comedian-characterationist Andy Daly.

That’s right again

EVEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PENCILS THIS SHOW IS NOT TO BE MISSED!

BUY TICKETS HERE OR BE SAD FOR ETERNITY!

See? This is what I’m talking about. The garbagey Skype chat between me and David Rees. How many cans and string make up my side of the video? The one with John Hodgman sounds like it was recorded at Skywalker Ranch in comparison. 

I swear to God, I spent MONEY on my home setup. Rees is using the built-in laptop mic. Like a damned grandma. What is this sabotage? Is this what I can expect on that so-called “boat?”

I will have my revenge, Rees.