PAUL F. TOMPKINS IS ONLINE

hodgman: SPEAKING OF SECRET SOCIETIES I have mentioned many...

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:42:04 -0700

SPEAKING OF SECRET SOCIETIES

I have mentioned many times that one of the PRIMARY reasons I wanted to go to Yale was my fascination with the senior secret societies and their landmarked, windowless club houses that are actually called “TOMBS.”

So imagine my happiness when, in my very first year, one such society opened its doors to non members one night for a party. I wish I could say that I was invited, but the truth is that I MADE IT MY BUSINESS TO BE INVITED by harassing people I barely knew.

I remember the moment I walked up to those open doors very well. BUT THAT IS THE LAST THING I REMEMBER, because as soon as I got inside I got so drunk that I fell down the stairs and hit my head and my memory of EVERYTHING I SAW AND DID INSIDE THAT WINDOWLESS BUILDING WAS ERASED FROM MY MEMORY.

This is complete truth: there is an actual hole in my memory. Because secret societies know how to keep their secrets.

All of which is to say that I am going north to New Haven for my 20th anniversary this weekend.
And if there is anyone who has access to Book and Snake who wants to help an old man remember, please contact me.

I am hodgman at maximumfun dot org, and I pay my debts.

THAT IS ALL

scottaukerman: Starts July 12 on IFC!

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:39:35 -0700

scottaukerman:

Starts July 12 on IFC!

jenkirkman: Hello world of people who listen to podcasts! As...

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:08:43 -0700

jenkirkman:

Hello world of people who listen to podcasts!

As you may know, one of my favorite things to do is to go on “OPP” - (Other People’s Podcasts)

So, I started my own! “I Seem Fun: The Diary of Jen Kirkman Podcast.”

This way I am hoping that more people will find me and it will result in different ways for people to know me besides television comedy sets which are great but restrictive or books, which are great but take a long time to write.

There’s something really fun about just sitting in my bed talking into a microphone and no one can stop me! Every Wednesday is a new episode that centers around some kind of theme.

I’m sure at times it’s clunky, boring, and strange and I’m also sure at other times it’s funny and interesting and just fine.

I’m not looking to change the world or my life - just think it’s “fun.”

If you like the podcast, feel free to leave 5 stars in iTunes and write my favorite compliment, “I listened to this podcast.”

Here’s the podcast page of my website that lists where to download (besides iTunes) and more!

http://jenkirkman.com/i-seem-fun

Love,

Jen

SUBSCRIBE TO SOUTHIE!>

On the plane to Austin with Superego! You learn things about...

Fri, 24 May 2013 10:54:04 -0700

On the plane to Austin with Superego! You learn things about each other when you travel. @markmcconville is a neck pillow guy. @mattgourley is a giant headphones dude. @jeremyacarter is a miss-the-flight-and-have-to-take-the-next-one man. @pftompkins is a poor self-framer fellow. (at Over The Flyovers)

Thrilled to have contributed to one of my favorites. - Paul

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:44:27 -0700

Thrilled to have contributed to one of my favorites. - Paul

WHEN WINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH 9 May 2013

Wed, 22 May 2013 20:46:52 -0700

WHEN WINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH

9 May 2013

From The Thrilling Adventure Hour Presents: A Valentine’s...

Wed, 22 May 2013 20:32:17 -0700

From The Thrilling Adventure Hour Presents: A Valentine’s Day Beyond Belief, recorded live at Largo at The Coronet, 14 February 2013. Words, music, and piano playing by the great Eban Schletter.

greengirl82:

Thrilling Adventure Hour’s Paget Brewster and Paul F. Tompkins “Our Love Is The Best”

“Okay, that was a good warmup, I guess, but I think I can...

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:46:00 -0700

“Okay, that was a good warmup, I guess, but I think I can do better. After the first couple lines, the melody kinda got away from me. I don’t know if it was obvious. Also, I didn’t know the kazoo was gonna be quite that aggressive. And that’s not a criticism, Marty, do exactly what you did before, it’s terrific. I’ll just be ready this time. And I know it was my idea, but now that we’ve done it, having Roger come in mid-word to hit that note for me on the very last line felt sort of humiliating. Especially when I kind of limp back in at the end. It just felt bad, y’know? So, okay, if everyone’s ready, let’s roll on take 2.”

“Um, sorry, the song just went out live to start the show.”

“Oh no, really?”

“Yeah. Oh, and we recorded it onto a golden record that we shot into space.”

“What!? That fast?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not in space yet, but it’s definitely on its way. We had all the stuff ready to go.”

“Man.”

“For what it’s worth, I thought it sounded okay.”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t giving it my full attention because I was busy with the space launch, but, like, in the background nothing stood out as horrible.”

“Ooooooh. Kay. Listen, next time? Let me know if you’re gonna record anything onto a golden record and shoot it into space? Because I might want to rehearse it more than once, you know?”

“Will do. Although, there probably won’t be a next time because we absolutely spent our whole budget for the next ten seasons.”

“On the golden-record-into-space thing?”

“Mostly, yes.”

Thanks to Ben Acker.

liezlwashere: I’ve been keeping tabs on people’s thoughts on...

Tue, 21 May 2013 18:22:18 -0700

liezlwashere:

I’ve been keeping tabs on people’s thoughts on the Flickr changes. With the redesign, if you’re logged into flickr, your home page will open to a full screen stream of your contacts photos. Previously, you had the ability to hide your contacts photos, which came up as thumbnails.

Today, Mary shared with us that this inflexibility of design can backfire on you.

Cameron Esposito: Tell your rape jokes. Expect to be challenged on them.

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:35:48 -0700

Cameron Esposito: Tell your rape jokes. Expect to be challenged on them.:

This is exactly right. - Paul

cameronesposito:

Seems like every 6 months or so - maybe once a year - there is a debate about rape jokes. Here’s how it goes:

A dude tells jokes about rape or deals with hecklers in way that includes rape. A woman hears these jokes or is the heckler. She publicly states that she is upset or didn’t like the joke…

SPEAKEASY WITH PAUL F. TOMPKINS: SIMON HELBERG The Big Bang...

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:46:16 -0700

SPEAKEASY WITH PAUL F. TOMPKINS: SIMON HELBERG

The Big Bang Theory star discusses his career as an outlaw cocktail pianist, being bullied as a black belt, and more.

Then, I test his knowledge of his own Big Bang character with a quiz. He does all right.

SPEAKEASY WITH PAUL F. TOMPKINS: AARON ECKHART I chat with...

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:37:00 -0700

SPEAKEASY WITH PAUL F. TOMPKINS: AARON ECKHART

I chat with big-deal movie and stage actor Aaron Eckhart about Heath Ledger, the evils of green screen, and giraffe photos.

I also ask him to do stuff that I am somewhat surprised he does.

AUSTIN, TX: This Friday. Two shows. Me. Superego....

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:36:00 -0700

AUSTIN, TX: This Friday. Two shows. Me. Superego. LIVE.

That’s all you need to know.

I beg your pardon, there is actually some more information that you need to know. Times and location, things like that. I apologize for my presumptuousness. ANYWAY.

FRIDAY MAY 24 - THE SPIDER HOUSE BALLROOM

8PM TICKETS

10PM TICKETS

Illustration: Dan Hartshorn

One of the great joys of my professional life is forcing Busy...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:26:05 -0700

One of the great joys of my professional life is forcing Busy Philipps to break on stage. - Paul

liezlwashere:

Largo | Thrilling Adventure Hour | 05.04.13

Busy Philipps trying very hard not to laugh at Paul F. Tompkins and the voice he chose for his character in Sparks Nevada: Marshal from Mars.

GUY WHO is ALWAYS CAUGHT IN A GUST OF WIND

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:21:12 -0700

eecunnings:

johnmilhiser:

Written By Eric Cunningham

Yo, this is Tut.

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 07:33:50 -0700

All I wanted to do was just hang out here on weekends, just to...

Fri, 17 May 2013 19:15:54 -0700

All I wanted to do was just hang out here on weekends, just to unwind and chill out— watch a dog get neutered, a kitten take a pill. Maybe see a hamster get thrown in the trash. Then one day this guy said, Hey, wanna try something wild? Well, he took me to a different animal hospital, a much more intense one, and it. Was. A RUSH. Have you ever seen a rhino get a tonsillectomy? Ever seen a giraffe hooked up to a dialysis machine? Man, it’s like nothing else. Now I need more and more and I’m out of control. I’m watching crocodiles get skin tags removed like 5, 6 times a day. Oops! Somehow I died from this? Now I’m in heaven with all the trash-can hamsters! LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, KIDS!

Pleased to be included in this! - Paul HAMLET MASH-UP by Geoff...

Wed, 15 May 2013 12:49:00 -0700

Pleased to be included in this! - Paul

HAMLET MASH-UP

by Geoff Klock

Published on May 7, 2013

198 movies and TV shows quoting Hamlet in less than 15 minutes, because I thought that was funny.

These clips are extremely short (1-10 seconds are clipped out of each movie), and built into a new whole, so this falls legally under fair use.

Average clip length: 4.5 seconds.

Seventeen cartoons

Cute Girl commentary from Alicia Silverstone, Julia Styles, Megan Fox, Lindsey Lohan, Blair Waldorf, Busy Philipps, Blake Lively.

Eight women as Hamlet including Katherine Hepburn, Maggie Smith, Eliza Coupe, Jennifer Saunders.

Kevin Klein twice

Vincent Price twice

Shelley Long twice

Eric Idle twice

Christopher Plummer, twice, once as a Klingon

Danny DeVito twice, in non-speaking roles

Robert Downey Jr twice (once more he is being spoken to, but you can’t see him)

Two incarnations with vampires

Two incarnations with strippers (one male)

Two incarnations of X-Men

Three incarnations of Star Trek

Three incarnations of The Addams Family (who knew there were three incarnations of Addams Family)

Three incarnations in which audience members leave during To Be or Not To Be.

Three speeches end with a Hamlet saying he is tired of doing this.

Starring as Hamlet: Christian Slater, Robert Downey Jr (twice), Arnold Schwarzenegger, Superman, Steve Guttenberg, Ralph Fiennes, Dawson, Topher from Dollhouse, Kevin Klein, David Tennant, Captain Picard, Jeff Daniels, a brain, a gourd, a vampire, Nick Nolte, Buggs Bunny, Benedict Cumberbatch, The Crypt Keeper, Gilbert Godfrey as Jerry Seinfeld, Brak, Martha Plimpton, a Monkee, two Cousin It’s, Klingon Christopher Plummer, regular Christopher Plummer, Mel Brooks, Jack Benny, Adam Sandler, Noah Wyle, The Dowager Countess, Catherine Hepburn, Charles Emerson Winchester, The Beast, Paul F. Tompkins, Stephen Colbert, Vincent Price, Campbell Scott, The Mighty Boosh, Richard Burton, Daniel Day Lewis, Charlie Chaplin, Robert Redford, Richard Dreyfuss, Michael Gambon, Mel Gibson, Jack Skellington, Benicio Del Toro, Bud Abbot, a two headed dragon, Woodhouse, Kenneth Branagh, Eric Idle, Jude Law, Derek Jacobi, Yakko, Martin Sheen, some transformer, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Terrance of Terrance and Philip, Eliza Coupe.

Commentary from: Homer Simpson, Alicia Silverstone, Julia Styles, Megan Fox, Lindsey Lohan, Blair Waldorf, Busy Philipps, Fonzie, Michael Caine, Orson Wells, Blanch, Steve Martin, Billy Wilder, Daria, Michael J Fox, Mark Wahlberg, Val Kilmer, Dustin Hoffman, The Smoking Man, Steve Coogan, Blackadder, Denis Hopper, Gene Kelly, the A Team, Dennis Miller, Hugh Laurie, Richard Gere, Anjelica Houston, MST3K, Blake Lively, and the Cookie Monster.

As Polonious: Bill Murray, Professor X, Mr and Mrs Howell, Sherlock Holmes, Flash Thompson.

As the Ghost: Mr Feeny, the Green Goblin, James Earl Jones,

As Horatio: John Goodman, Fry, Mac from It’s Always Sunny, Vampire Kirsten Dunst.

If you know more send me more at geoff.klock@gmail.com. I am already collecting more Hamlet references for a third cut — Mulholland Drive, a clip of Rowdy Roddy Piper, and My Name is Earl.

Sara is a terrifically talented artist and the very idea of this...

Tue, 14 May 2013 18:44:43 -0700

Sara is a terrifically talented artist and the very idea of this is flattering in the extreme! - Paul

sarapocock:

Here is a fun thing in which I got to participate! The very lovely Jason Klamm was kind enough to invite me onto his fantastic podcast Comedy on Vinyl where, normally, people way more funny and articulate than I am talk about their favorite comedy records. I wanted to talk about PFT so I picked Freak Wharf, since it’s a nice lead-in to the all the parts of Paul’s comedy that inspire me artistically (I talk about his podcast as well, and most of his artistic/comedic output, really).

Anyway, listen here if you want and tell me later if it sounds okay—there’s no WAY I can listen to this myself! Hahaha… heh… gulp

Thank you, John Hodgman, for not letting me not stay an extra...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:16:22 -0700

Thank you, John Hodgman, for not letting me not stay an extra day in Brooklyn so I could guest on Secret Society. It was fun and you are fun.