SOCIAL NETWORKING?! THIS MODERN AGE!!
These are places you can go to experience fake friendship with me. Not "virtual" friendship. That's misleading. We will be, truly, fake friends.
 
Twitter
   Think I'm a self-absorbed windbag who doesn't know when to stop talk talking? Maybe you'll enjoy me confined to 140 characters by the self-expression police over at Twitter!

MySpace
   Are you suffering from SPAM withdrawal? Meet me here!

Facebook
   I have a fan page here. I almost put the word "fan" in quotes. Why do I think so little of myself? I'm allowed to have fans.