Click here to read a “nomination” letter I received informing me my podcast has been “selected” to “win” an LA Comedy “Award.” Basically, it’s a “bringer” show with an Internet twist. There’s an article on Splitsider today which explains it perfectly:
If you’re an avid internet comedy fan you may have come across the website for the LA Comedy Awards, an awards show that hands out prizes to stand-ups, podcasts, films, and internet videos, but the whole awards show charges people to participate, allowing entrants to basically buy themselves into an awards show that isn’t a real thing in the first place. Entrants are charged anywhere between $0.99 and $19 to submit their material, and people are even charged to vote, which is completely absurd. It’s all a despicable, low-rent scheme aimed at naive young comedians, taking advantage of their hopes and dreams by promising a big flashy awards show, red carpet interviews, and the chance to add a (phony) award to their resumes if they donate enough money. The LA Comedy Awards website features logos for respected comedy entities like Funny or Die and The Onion as if they sponsor the show when they clearly have nothing to do with it. So, if you’re a young comedy person thinking of entering your stand-up set/podcast/video into this contest think again because it’s the awards show equivalent of a “bringer show” for stand-ups, and an LA Comedy Award is just something some guy made up to take money from gullible comedy novices.
I contacted the guy behind this horseshit and asked him to remove me from his voting scheme. He refused to comply. GREAT, now I get to have fun on the Internet railing against a bullshit subhuman!
He’s nominated my show and many others for “free” in an attempt to build credibility to his completely invented fucktarded awards show. I am sure he will take a generous “Producer” fee to pay rent on his undoubtedly gross apartment in Redondo Beach.
There is no way in the world anyone would be dumb enough to pay 99¢ to vote for this garbage, but the very idea of my name being associated with it is toilet trash on a level I can’t even comprehend. So if this guy wouldn’t privately respect that I wanted no part of this, fine. He’s thanked me for the “free publicity.” I say, let him have it. Congratulations, fuckbag! Now everyone knows you’re a parasite!
If you were following coverage of Sandy last night, you may have seen photos of nurses and firemen transporting babies from the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at NYU’s hospital. If you didn’t, you might consider looking them up. They’re very moving. They show courageous emergency and medical…
Aaron demands an apology from Janie in the aftermath of their fight, Janie demands to know why Aaron thinks he’s “outgrown” Trader Joes, and the duo reveal what they’re dressing up as on Halloween! Plus, carving turnips! Candy Corn! And a stern warning to Cadbury Chocolate!
Aaron gives a lecture to the Korean TV & Radio Association - despite not knowing how to speak Korean, Janie gives advice on how she’d ask somebody out on a date - despite not being single, and the duo welcome special guest Paget Brewster (“Criminal Minds”) to Snap Judgements! Plus, are LED Headlights the worst invention since moleskin journals?
Starting this week, we’re going to try a new thing on the podcast! Every day, we’ll have a new question, but, since so many of you seem to hate listening to the podcast in chunks, we’re going to release the entire conversation, without breaks on Thursdays, which is what you’ll get if you subscribe on itunes or the rss feed. Otherwise, if you want to listen on the blog, I’ll still keep posting daily updates right here!
But feel free to listen to this shit however you like, I am NOT TRIPPING.
And all of this neglects to mention that this week, I have with me special guest Paul F. Tompkins! WHAT A TREAT!
“There are no secrets. We’ll win Ohio,” said Romney’s top strategist Stuart Stevens.
And what if they don’t win Ohio?
“It’s a silly question … we’re going to win Ohio,” he said. “This is like conscientious objection: if you’re going over the cliff and you have to throw your mother, or your sister, or your father out, which one would you? We’ll win Ohio.”
Stevens, no need to elaborate! We’ve ALL played the classic parlor game where we envision our family driving off a cliff and pushing one of them out will save the rest of you somehow. No need to explain it with all those words! We got it at “conscientious objection”, which everyone knows is the shorthand term for that riddle, and not a completely unrelated concept.
Bonus points for characterizing your own campaign as a car driving off a cliff.