So Paul F. Tompkins is doing press for his new special Laboring Under Delusions (Saturday night, 4/21/2012, Comedy Central), and he has been doing some interviews. I thought it might be helpful to have a entry with links to them all for anyone who can’t get to them all right away (me). Here is…
So I FB-posted an article about "Girls" that I thought was great, because it was like: "Hey, this is a TV show, let's settle down about its significance and its implications," and it immediately triggered a vicious, personal comments war between two people I do not know and who I don't think know each other, and the experience led me to an important revelation which I would like to share with you:
We should all turn off our televisions and close our laptops and go outside and move our limbs and play with each other and laugh and smooch and wrestle, because we are all going to be dead in what will seem like 45 minutes and we are going to stay that way until the end of an infinite number of forevers.
Paul F. Tompkins: Laboring Under Delusions airs at 11pm E/P on Comedy Central. Please watch it. You are under no obligation to enjoy it. It’s fine by me if you sit through the whole thing staring daggers at the TV, grinding your teeth to powder as you will a sandbag to fall on my head (it won’t, FYI; the special was recorded months ago). Just as long as you watch.
Maybe you’re planning to watch it later. You’re gonna DVR it, you’re gonna go out, it’s Saturday night, you’re gonna hit a bar and get super drunk, then get home and watch the first two minutes of my special before passing out on the couch, a Whopper Jr. with one bite out of it falling out of your hand and onto the floor like some squalid homage to the opening of Citizen Kane.
Let me say this: watching it live means ratings for me. Ratings for me means love success for me. So why don’t you stay in tomorrow night? Invite a special someone over to watch? Patton Oswalt’s special airs right before mine, make a night of it! Don’t you know that comedy leads to romance? It’s true. You just read it on the internet.
And get a load of this— on Tuesday, you’ll be able to own my special in its full-length form. You can:
watch it on your Xbox or Sony PlayStation (you probably have to be high)
mysterious things called Vudu and Samsung Media Hub are also part of this
I know that for some of you, I am too beautiful to behold. So there will be an audio release of Laboring Under Delusions onAST recordsin October. This is the same material plus even more, a completely separate performance, recorded live at The Bell House in Brooklyn.
There. Now you know what you must do. And may God have mercy on our souls.
I don’t understand a lot of things. I don’t understand why my neighbor is pursuing a career as a 1990’s electronic music artist. I don’t understand why the ice cream shop near my house considers two scoops of ice cream one scoop. And I don’t understand how women, educated journalists, can be so…
“BEST THING THAT HAPPENED IN LITTLE ROCK THAT MADE ME LOVE AMERICA: At the hotel’s fire pit, I met some young men from Little Rock Air Force Base. I had an amazing conversation with one of them while enjoying a shared bottle of Southern Comfort, in which I explained the particulars of Artisanal Pencil Sharpening and he explained the particulars of Survival Evasion Resistance Escape training. —DAVID REES, Artisanal Pencil Sharpener.”—
Read all of David Rees’s Pencil Sharpening Tour recap HERE.
I am so mad I cannot be there that I am typing this tumbl with MY FISTS.
FOR SERIOUS: you do not need to be a fan of artisanal pencil sharpening to see David Rees. You merely need to be a fan of GENIUS COMEDY mixed with HONESTLY SINCERE, HEARTFELT CRAFTSMANSHIP and EXPERT SHOWPERSONSHIP and KALE.
If you can’t tell from my tumbls, David is not only a friend, he is one of my heroes. What he is doing on stage these days is BEAUTIFUL HISTORY UNFOLDING BEFORE YOUR EYES LIKE FRESH PENCIL SHAVINGS, and you should not miss it.
So, I opened up Tumblr to send out a reminder about this show that I’m doing at Largo on Saturday, and I see I have already been beaten to the punch by the man himself, David Rees.
Just so you know: I am really looking forward to this show. Not just performing on it, just seeing it. David Rees is one of the funniest people I have ever met, and I believe you have some notion of the circles in which I travel.
My new Comedy Central 1-hour special premieres Saturday, April 21st at 11pm E/P. FYDVRI (for your DVR’s information), its searchable title is PAUL F. TOMPKINS: LABORING UNDER DELUSIONS.
In it, I recount various adventures I have had as a show business person and as a non-show business person. These recountings have a humorous bent to them (intentional).
After you watch it on Comedy Central on Saturday, April 21st, you need only wait mere hours until Tuesday, April 24th, when you may purchase it to have in your home forever and ever until God, in His wisdom, separates you from it by death (yours). This DVD version of the special will be almost twice the length of the broadcast version, and will features some crazy extras. Including! The great Eban Schletter scoring some of yours truly’s whimsical rambles with a wooden piano machine.
Here is some crass information which, ideally, leads to me making money:
The extended and uncensored version of “Paul F. Tompkins: Laboring Under Delusions” will be available for download on April 24 on iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, Vudu, Samsung Media Hub and in HD exclusively on Xbox LIVE and Sony PlayStation Network.
More purchasing information to come as this story of me making money unfolds! But for now:
SAVE THIS TELEVISION DATE.
(April 21st at 11pm E/P.)
Oh, and feel free to repost the living Hell out of this.
David will be putting on a show to celebrate the release of his new book, which is called How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants. You can pre-order the book on Amazon if you think you’re man enough.The book is not only hilarious, it also really tells you a lot about sharpening pencils. You can buy the book from him in person after the show. And after you get your own pencil sharpened!
For real. I was gifted one of these pencils he sharpened. Look:
Also appearing on the show? Me. That’s right! Paul F. Tompkins!
Also also appearing on this show? Genius comedian-characterationist Andy Daly.
That’s right again!
EVEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PENCILS THIS SHOW IS NOT TO BE MISSED!
Hear ye hear ye. On April 1st, starting at 9pm PST, I will live-tweet the season premiere of Game of Thrones on HBO. Last week, I watched the entire first season in two days. Prior to that, I’d seen only the first episode when it premiered last year, not knowing how I felt about what I was seeing, but knowing I needed to go away and think about it for a while.
Now I am all caught up and into it. I am not into the books, and I am old enough to have earned the right to say I don’t need to read them and never, ever will (despite some nerd in my life* trying to talk me into them). I am fine to have the story boiled down to story-length and not be informed of the type of thread that is used in sewing together everybody’s jerkins.
If you are a fan of the show and are worried about spoilers, I understand if you need to unfollow me for that hour, but if it eases your mind, I promise you that my commentary will not really give away any actual plot points. I’ll just be goofin’ a little.
So there you have it! You have been alerted and/or warned! Join me or don’t! But know that I can’t wait to join all our old pals:
The Queen of Mean!
The Murderous Tomboy!
Ye Statione Agente!
That One, and Him!
EUNUCH EUNUCH EUNUCH!
Count Seasonthree of The Wireton!
11th Hour Annoying Lady!
Lady Strawhead & Uggie!
Betty Draper’s Brother!
I am well aware of the fact that no one has asked me to do this or wants me to do this.
Due to work obligations here in Los Angeles, California, the tour I had planned for May of this year is being pushed back to the autumn of also this same year. More information on the tour and the work obligations here in Los Angeles as they develop.
Meantime, I am doing a tiny bit of travel, and I am providing you with the information about it. Startiiiiiiiiiiiing NOW.
FRIDAY, MAY 11th: St. Paul, MN
I will be a guest on John Moe’s Wits at The Fitzgerald Theater! Appearing with Aimee Mann! This will be cool FOR SURE! Tickets
SATURDAY, MAY 12th: Minneapolis, MN
I remain in-state (not in state; I will still be alive) to do my new hour of stories, “Crying and Driving,” returning to Pepito’s Parkway Theatre. Tickets
SATURDAY & SUNDAY, MAY 26th & 27th: Austin TX
I am closing out the Austin Sketch Fest, performing “Crying and Driving” at the 29th Street Ballroom. I hope this is not a Shining-type situation! The word “ballroom” makes me nervous that I will end up trapped in an old black & white photo!